Musings that turned out to be rather depressing

Time to blog.

I feel a little direction impaired as to what to do with this blog. Today all I did was work... It was boring as always. I think when I get back to uni things will be better... for the blog.

I'm not looking forward to going back to uni though. Broken leg is going to make things pretty shit. Plus I have some shit to deal with there.

On the other hand. Blargh!

Nat and Dave ran into Tim's mum at Coles the other day. Apparently she too blames me for my broken leg. This isn't too much of a surprise for me considering that the only version of events she has heard is her sons version of events. But it still kind of hurts.

Apparently she said if I wanted to see her I should text her, but I don't think there is too much point. What would I do anyway? I've been covering for Tim's ass for so long that to go back on it now would make me look ridiculous.

I think that the problem is... I'm angry with myself for letting the whole Tim thing go so far. It very quickly became obvious that Tim was not the sort of person I thought he was after I had moved in with him.

Then, eventually realizing that there was no way that he was going to change, I felt as if I owed him too much. Every time that I thought it was enough, I'd flash back to that night I was half blind with my face bashed in and lying in the gutter half way up the street calling everyone I knew for some help.

The only one who picked up and actually got something happening was Tim... I know that it was mostly an ego thing for him. He likes to paint himself into peoples problems to become the hero, but I still reached out and his parents came.

I suppose I should try and straighten things out with his parents but I feel like I'd be betraying them when I go to make some sort of legal move for compensation, and I've been fighting myself for weeks now with whether or not I should, but I now feel like I have to.

Also, apparently he is really angry at me. FUCK HIM! He has no right in the world to be angry at me. That's just like the fuck you cherry on the pile of shit mountain that is the insult he has heaped upon me in this entire situation.

I hope there is some good news from the doctors tomorrow.

It sucks to be a cripple, but I have the best friends in the world.

So the last time I blogged properly on this blog it was the day before my birthday. Shit has happened since then...

• We went to the city and enjoyed a night of karaoke
• Kerrie lost me money by getting too drunk and throwing up all night... To be fair Dave and Kev threw up everywhere too.
• We all got together and did some stuff before the party at Nat's house
• I don't yet seem to be able to properly piece together some of that night, but I reckon I got most of it and dude it was awesome.
• The night ended tragically for me when the man who had been abusing the term "best friend" to make me do shit for him every time he couldn't act like an adult for the past few years broke my leg... I'm not saying he did it on purpose, I'm saying his actions caused it and he hasn't even began with an apology.
• Spent majority of the next day hospitalized.
• The next day was pretty much rest.
• Back the the hospital for like 3 days ish for surgery. I hope they put my leg back together because I haven't really heard about what shit they did to my leg yet...
• Nat and Luu busted me out. We went and ate at Ribs and Rumps... delicious.
• Spent the rest of the night at Nat's house which was pretty cool.
• Spent the next day resting.

And now I think we are at today.

Foolishly I believed that even with my broken leg I could spend a day in the city no troubles... This day did not do a lot for my self esteem. Being wheeled around isn't as cool as you think it is... especially for a big dude... I felt horrible today.

Also, not easy getting around in a rickety old wheel chair. Constantly looking for a way into any of the places in the city we went today. I had to hop up the steps to the convention center today. Of course there was an easier way in... Garry and I just didn't know it.

Being butt high to everyone... not cool... very not cool... I feel bad for short people... the air is not fresh down there...

Other unpleasantness... all in all... I HATE HAVING A BROKEN LEG.

Despite all of this, I had a good day. The optimist in me was firmly on the surface and I enjoyed the food and wine festival and I had a really good time with all the people today, they are all really awesome people and all of them went out of their way today to help me and make me feel still wanted LOL... It's nice to have great friends.

We helped Garry pull Ajay's number properly... hahaha he is awesome.

Me and Gaz finished up the night by seeing Transformers 3... I really enjoyed it. But I like to be entertained.

Oh also... My wheelchair broke in the city today... not easy getting back to the car... But thanks to Dave for saving the day.